So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
