i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
