I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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