i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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