Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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