they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
