Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
