I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Send help, water and tortillas.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When are your genitals available?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
