Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
