He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
