forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
