So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
