lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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