I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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