So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
