and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
