Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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