We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
