mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
