The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
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