Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
