Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
