i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
