oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
