remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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