Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
