how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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