discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
