You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
