Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
this hospital has no fireball
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
