what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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