Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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