Its about making memories worth repressing
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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