Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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