genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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