OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
