Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
