Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
