and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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