...so i touched it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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