ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
