Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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