lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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