Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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