there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
