the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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