Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
BRING THE BAGELS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
