i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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