so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
