So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
