I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
